Song for a friend(s) (OK a letter, but still…)

My dear hearts,

The Big Move is in process: leaving the capital of the UK to go to the other end of the country where I know nobody, because I fell in love with a city. Recent life challenges have taught me to take every opportunity I can. And you my friends have given me nothing but absolute support.

To the girl who has become a library companion despite our differences in religion: telling me you stopped praying for me should have shattered my heart with disappointment. But when you told me it was because you knew I didn’t need your prayers anymore, because this world will fall at my feet and the heavens are willing me on, well. I don’t care what our religious differences are: your words were the best parting gift I could have received.

To my friend I’ve known since preschool, your words are kept private in my soul but I can promise you this: I will take your heart and wrap it in the finest layers of tissue paper to place it in the box marked Fragile. It will be safe with me, and I am honoured to have the knowledge you are with me regardless of where we are in the world.

To my housemates: I couldn’t have stumbled my way through the last year without you. But man am I looking forward to not having to watch football anymore.

To my colleagues: sorry, you’re not rid of me that easily. Benefits of being a writer: you can work from anywhere in the world. Hello, Skype.

To the more than forty people who turned up over the course of my leaving drinks: crawling home at 7am was a new record. It was an amazing send-off and I was truly touched by how many of you came to say goodbye.

To the friend who sent me the lyrics for Song for a Friend by Jason Mraz: all I can do is say them back to you:

Well you’re magic he said
But don’t let it all go to your head
Cuz I bet if you all had it all figured out
Then you’d never get out of bed
No doubt
Of all the things that I’ve read what he wrote me
Is now sounding like the man I was hoping
To be
I keep on keeping it real
Cause it keeps getting easier, he’ll see
He’s the reason that I’m laughing
Even if there’s no one else
He said, you’ve got to love yourself

You say, you shouldn’t mumble when you speak
But keep your tongue up in your cheek
And if you stumble onto something better remember that it’s humble that you seek
You got all the skill you need,
Individuality
You got something
You call it gumption
You call it anything you want
Because when you play the fool now
You’re only fooling everyone else
You’re learning to love yourself

Yes you are

There’s no price to pay
When you give and what you take,
That’s why it’s easy to thank you
You…

Let’s say take a break from the day
And get back to the old garage
Because life’s too short anyway
But at least it’s better than average
As long as you got me
And I got you
You know we’ll got a lot to go around
I’ll be your friend
Your other brother
Another love to come and comfort you
And I’ll keep reminding
If it’s the only thing I ever do
I will always love
I will always love you
Yes you
I will always, always, always, always love
I will always, always love
I will always, always love, love

Climb up over the top.
Survey the state of the soul.
You’ve got to find out for yourself whether or not you’re truly trying.
Why not give it a shot?
Shake it. Take control and inevitably wind up
Find out for yourself all the strengths you have inside of you.

To the person who knows who they are: without you, I would not be here. And I promise I’ll do everything I can to show it’s been worth the grind.

And now, for the move. Bring it.

With my forever gratitude at knowing such compassionate beings,

Evelyn

xxx

My #Bigsteppin Valentine

Valentine’s Day is a day of love, and an unfortunate anniversary. I will forever remember how much I love somebody who gave his life too young (24) so he could protect others from harm.

From sticking up for people at school to working with the Samaritans and Shelter, he was always the go-to guy. He loved too much, too strong, and was too protective of those who – sometimes – didn’t even care about him. Nothing could ever keep him down, he’d take the knocks and see it as life experience. He was somebody who steamrollered his way down the street, always going somewhere, doing something – helping someone, protecting someone, and going about it with such humble grace. His altruism and kindness lasted to the end, and he showed me the importance of leading your  life with good intentions, high ambitions and hard work.

I want to say thank you, my friend, for showing me to live true to myself; for reminding me there are always people worse off who need my support; for believing in my capabilities and talents even before they began to show. He taught me perseverance, determination, hardiness, humility  and – above all – a respect for others. Nothing is ever too much of a dream to be held, and every day if you can do one thing to achieve your goals then it has been a good day.

I am blessed: I may be chronically ill, I may be jobless, I may struggle with humanity from time to time. He showed me if you don’t like something, change it: I can seek medical help, I can find ways to make money, and I can learn to get over my occasional misanthropy. I am fortunate to have the privilege to make these changes in my life. I have people who love me, and I have those I love with all of my heart and being, and for that I am grateful. Whatever the problems may be, I am lucky for my life, and every day I live it for you my friend.

My Raw Heart misses you and loves you.

Evelyn

xxxx